ch.7/3

I think one thing about myself is that I need to work on changing my attitude about some things. The text talks about developing a Playful Attitude and, though I do this for other situations, I do tend to allow a certain situation to ruin my fun because I am too worried about everything that could go wrong or has gone wrong. Also, if I am put into certain situations and don't feel comfortable just saying "no," then I will end up resenting the person who made the original plans.

For example, I am visiting some family out of state right now. My cousin asked me if I wanted to hang out with a guy she works with and her because "he wanted to meet me." Although I knew this was a lie and it was just an excuse for him to hang out with my cousin because he likes her, I agreed.

The entire night I was the awkward third wheel. I felt totally uncomfortable because she wasn't being herself because she was trying to hard to impress him so I felt like I couldn't be myself. The were really cuddly all night and, frankly, I was really pissed off all night.

I should have just joined in the fun and kept myself occupied instead of being bitter.

ch 7/8--post 2

I think I react differently to different situations.

I try to address people calmly and sort through the problem, but that isn't always the case (it's mostly not the case). I think when I am really angry, I tend to BLOW UP, and if I am not yelling, I am talking aggressively and quickly. The text mentioned something about this being because it makes me think that I am getting my anger out or moving forward, and I think that might be why I am doing it, which is odd, because I KNOW screaming at someone isn't going to be productive in the long run.

If I get more upset than angry, I might leave the room if I don't feel like I am capable of handling the situation much longer.

And, like the book mentions, I am a venter. I will get with my friends and ventventvent about whatever it is. Sometimes that makes me feel better and I don't feel angry, and sometimes it makes me all the more pissed off so I have to go talk to the person with whom I'm angry. Page 145 mentions only seeing one's own perspective, but I think that I am pretty good about seeing their point, too, although I know at the end of the day, I am going to be more prone to thinking I am [mostly] right.


The way I handle anger most is by getting really upset, and it just adds to the problem all the more. If you aren't able to step back and calm down, you work yourself up, making yourself mentally and physically sick and often times you say and do things you don't mean to do i.e, slander, physical aggression, ect.

It's embarrassing, but I have been so angry with people before that I have said HORRIBLE things because I HAD to "even the score."

ch 7/1

Solution One: For school, I think one way I could viewing it would be to see it as something I enjoy. I am at the point in my academic career where I am supposed to be ENJOYING the classes I am taking because I am choosing to take them. If I can look at my courses and see the ways in which I like them and how they pertain to my life, it will make them more enjoyable.

As for work, I should start doing exactly what the book says: Finding joy in it. This is something I have actually been working on doing lately. I used to HATE going to work because everyone there, I felt, was in a clique and I was the outsider. Now that I am starting to become better friends with my coworkers and more familiar in what I do, I don't feel the pressure of hypostress anymore.

Solution Two: Related to school, If I can find fun ways to do my work, it will make it much more enjoyable. For example, if I can study for classes with my friends or find cool ways of learning material, it will make it more fun. I think this is much easier when you have a teacher that helps with that. If s/he creates an environment that is fun to be in, it makes the whole experience much more worth it, and you WANT to be involved.

Work: If I can joke around with my coworkers, it will make it more fun. I used to be very serious, but I am breaking out of that shell.

Solution Three: 

School: In school, my number one problem is not doing my work when I should be doing it. For example, I tend to wait until the last minute to do things because I always overestimate the amount of time I have. By getting myself organized, I will be able to calm myself down because I will not be as behind.

Work: I know that the reason I got bored with work is because I am often tired and behind in other work, so by keeping up with my otehr studies, I would probably enjoy work more. And, as I have stated, being more friendly with my coworkers won't hurt!

ch6/p3

I think the topic of trust was really interesting.

As children, we are raised to not trust strangers (which is obviously GREAT advice), but I think we are taught to automatically trust those around us too. This is a slippery slope, in my opinion, because it isn't healthy to not have any trust in anyone, but I think you do have to watch your back in a lot of ways.

I think it's interesting how people sort of just give their trust away, when, in my eyes, it should be earned. Interestingly enough, I don't always make people earn my trust. For example, if I am hanging out with someone I don't know extremely well, I might go ahead and tell them intimate details about my life if I feel comfortable, even though I don't really know what kind of person they are, or what they will do with that information. I think people who know they are trustworthy tend to give others the same credit, because that's what I think I do.

This kind of made me wonder if perhaps people use trust to have power in relationships. For example, if I know someone has a lot of "dirt" on me, I might be less likely to rub them the wrong way in fear that they might expose some personal information about me. I think it's interesting because I know this is something I would never do. Even for people I don't consider to be my friend anymore, I still have a respect for them, which is hard, because I know this isn't reciprocated.

chatper 6---post 2

The example of someone I have lost trust in is someone who I considered to be a good friend, who abused my trust by telling others intimate details about my life. This girl, who was a best friend of mine. (We'll call her Jessica).

I had confided in her, and had every reason to trust her because, stupidly, I never thought she would tell details about me because we were so close. 

I found out that she had told details about something I had told her about one day by total accident; a friend (We'll call her Cathy) mentioned some details that I knew she would only know because she was the only person I told.

At first, I was nonchalant because I wanted to see how much the third party would divulge. Then, I asked how  Cathy knew the details, and she tried to cover up for Jessica. Then, I called Jessica out. I told her it was, shady that she did that and I was upset. What REALLY bothered me was that she tried to deny it, THEN she tried to justify it.

I was pretty upset. I didn't talk to her for a little while, but then to not ruin what we were doing, I sort of just snapped out of it.

I realized that, as sad as it may be, you really can't trust anyone. In my experience, only family can be trusted, because (generally speaking) they will have your back no matter what.

I think what irritated me the most was that she didn't just own up to what she had done; she lied about her lie. If she had been up front about what she did, I would have been a lot less annoyed with the situation.

Chapter 6---Post 1 (Power)

It was asked what it feels like being in an unbalanced relationship, and to me, it really depends on where you stand in relation to the other person on the "dominance" spectrum.

If you are the "powerful" one, odds are you feel more confident and are generally more happy about the relationship than the person who is less powerful; if you're less powerful, then you probably feel more insecure and uncomfortable than the powerful person, and are not as happy.

I know for myself, when I feel like I am the dominant one in the relationship, it makes me feel more confident in myself because I feel like I have control over the other person, or in some cases, people. This confidence can really vary: it can be a mental, emotional, social, ect. I feel a lot better about myself, and I feel like I can truly BE MYSELF. This includes being goofy, hyper, sad, loud, funny, and so on.


On the other hand, if I am with people that I do not know very well or I feel insecure around, I do not feel comfortable in my own skin and surroundings. I tend to be much quieter and give my input less frequently. I tend to be more reserved in my conversation, gestures, and so on. It is uncomfortable.

I think a lot of the times these situations occur are situational, depending on who I am with and where I am. 

For example, if I go to a party and I know a lot of people and everyone else might not know as many people, I tend to be more myself because I am comfortable in my surroundings; However, if I am somewhere where I know no one, I tend to be more reserved, especially if I am insecure about my looks in comparison.

However, I am a very independent person when it comes to how much "power" I will allow for someone to have over me. My mom has ALWAYS taught me not to be with someone who is controlling because that is the relationship she has with my stepdad and she hates it. I think if I would be able to be with someone who didn't let me do what I wanted to do.


I think that power and trust are definitely intertwined. I think that obviously there are people who are just controlling/passive and there are people who are just too trusting/not trusting enough, but I think for many people they don't trust, so they're controlling.