12/3

One issues that I could relate to was overblown conflict. The first story that came into my head was actually on Christmas Eve when my family was on our annual trip to the Stanford Shopping Center in Palo Alto.  (Background: I live with my aunt, uncle and two cousins). Anyway, I had just been going through a lot because of some issues my mom was having and it was really close to the two year anniversary of my dad's death, so, needless to say, I was on edge and emotionally exhausted (probably physically, too). Anyway, I wanted to go into Tori Burch (a high-end store) and my cousin said something along the lines of, "why would you go in there," or something like that. To me, she sounded really condescending because I wanted to go in there, so I sort of snapped at her. It ended up causing a small altercation between the two of us and we ended up not talking Eventually, she (I think) came over to me and we talked it out. I apologized to her for losing my temper. I explained that I was really stressed out with issues in my family, and she sounded like she was judging my taste (or whatever).

Point being, it's really easy to just take the blame in your life out on someone else, but it is really important to try your hardest not to. Luckily for me, my cousins are sisters to me so I know that no matter the fight, we'll be okay. However, acting like this will not always guarantee a relationship at the end, because I know I would refuse to constantly be involved with someone who wasn't able to target their emotions properly.

week 12/2

Ch 12.

I have made internal attributions about other people before and it is horrible to do. For example, if I have ever heard something about someone and I then treat them the way that I have heard I should. For example, if I have heard that someone is extremely dumb, I might respond by sort of automatically assuming they can't understand what it is I'm saying (subconsciously or consciously) and this could easily irritate me. I think it's really important to understand that people have "off" days and that people also perceive things differently because it's all subjective.

However, I used to work at a hotel and I would assume that because they were staying at a resort, they had some money to spend. I would make sure I was extremely nice to all guests because that way I would be more likely to be tipped. Also, I would be EXTRA friendly with guests who I knew had been drinking because I had experienced that they would be buddy-buddy with me if I was friendly and funny when around them and they'd tip me well.

Honestly, attitude means a great deal in life. If you are making things up in your head that you find to be true about someone or a situation, it could totally work against you. Then again, it could work in your favor if you use it more positively.

week 12/1

CH 10:

When I googled the words Forgiveness and Reconciliation, many religious websites came up with way of how to forgive/reconcile, as well as the benefits of doing so.  As for Revenge, the majority of what I saw was information regarding TV shows.

When I looked, the term Revenge had more results by quite a large amount. Honestly, this doesn't shock me at all because of the sites that were producing information regarding the word. Today, people are fixated on TV and all of the drama, which very frequently comes with types of vengeful acts occurring. These types of events exist not only in the Soaps and on other types of dramas like Desperate Housewives  but also on reality TV.  For example, I LOVE the show Jersey Shore  (YOU KNOW IT'S GOOD!). For those who watch it, Mike is always trying to do something to produce drama and "get back" and the other members of the household. Also, this is extremely present on game-type shows that involve money, like Survivor.  Although I don't watch Survivor, I know that teammates will fight against each other and do horrible things to settle the score. I think we, as viewers, like to watch things like this is because we see things that we ourselves wouldn't do (or would like to think we don't do). Plus, let's be honest, we like to watch programs that are more focused on the drama; I think few people go out of their way to watch a show where people are forgiving each other and moving forward from issues regarding their relationship. I think most people say that they hate drama (myself included), but I think that's more relevant so long as it's not YOUR life involving drama; I think we all like to hear about situations with others. This is why most people LOVE a "good" secret and like to watch [trashy] TV.

week 10/3

I thought it was interesting how the text talked about how neglecting to forgive can have both physical and mental consequences. I had never thought of it before, but it makes total sense to me. For myself, when I am holding onto something, it makes me physically exhausted. For example, my family was having some pretty big issues a while back and I didn't know how to deal with the situation in terms of forgiveness. For a while, I was always extremely tired and lacked all the enthusiasm that I normally have because I was carrying all of this within me. However, when I was able to take a step back and analyze the situation differently, it made me feel SO much better. I had so much more energy and was much happier. I think when we don't forgive, we hold onto that stress, and stress causes great health effects.

week 10/2

Although there currently is no one in my life that I is trying to make amends with me over an issue, there have definitely been times in the past where that has come up.

The first example that came to my head was my friend who, out of the blue (well, to us at least because we were unaware there was a problem) decided to "drop" my best friend and I as friends. She literally stopped talking to us, was unresponsive and it took her best friend (who was also one of my best friends) telling me (after I asked) that she no longer had a desire to be friends anymore. 

I was really angry for a while. I felt like she was a tactless coward and after so many years of friendship, the LEAST she could have done was talk to me about what she was feeling or say it to my face instead ignoring me. I was also extremely confused by her actions because just a few weeks before all this happened, she gave me a birthday present and we seemed okay.

Later on, she contacted me and wanted to talk. We met up and discussed the issue, but the trust had been breached: I didn't know HOW to talk to her because I was still so upset with how she had previously handled things.  I told her we could try to be friends again, and sure enough with enough time, things went back to the way they were originally. 

In retrospect, I think that I felt pressured to either accept or deny her apology instantly rather than letting things sit and wait until I was actually able to forgive her instead of saying I was over it when I wasn't.

Week 10/1

I think that when I used facebook I use it as a way to sort of express my interests and hope that those interests might attract other to me, in a sense. For example, under the type of movies and TV shows I like, I have a lot of comedies. I find myself to be a fairly funny person, and I think that maybe to a certain extent I want to make that clear to people who might look at my profile.

I think as a whole I represent myself in a pretty classy way. I don't post pictures of myself doing inappropriate things (drinking alcohol when I am underage, dressed inappropriately, ect). This is for a few reasons. Aside from the fact that I don't think it's "cool" to show that I enjoy drinking,  it is also mainly because I do not want to promote that image of myself to my family who use facebook or to give people something to talk negatively about me.

Also, I don't talk about my REALLY intimate personal life on facebook. If there is a death in my family, I might upload pictures but I won't make a status update about it because I think people use certain situations for attention, which I don't like. Also, I avoid politics on facebook.  In my opinon, my beliefs (religious, political, ect) are MINE and I don't think they need to be broadcasted.

I do have some regrets in regards to things I have posted. The first thing that came to mind was a post I made regarding something my younger brother said. My dad's family is Jewish, and my little brother did not know what a Yamaka was and he called it a  "Hannukah Hat." At the time, I thought it was really funny (*note that it was also the context of the story that made it funny), and I made a status about it. My Jewish uncle was extremely offended by it, and commented on the post. I was MORTIFIED. I had in NO WAY intended to knock Judaism at all, and I felt awful. I deleted the post instantly and called both he and my aunt to try to repair the situation.

This relates to conflict and communication because I had to follow the steps much like the book said. I had to recognize there was an issue (which wasn't hard because he told me) and make a remedy for it, which was my most sincere apology.